My Fear of Friendship

Shame is the irrational fear that all your friends will eventually abandon you. It is panic after an abnormally long silence. It is being frightened during every conversation that you will say something wrong to turn friends away. It is a fear of trusting and of telling the truth, even to those who have proven... Continue Reading →

In Memory Of

Some of the most difficult shame to heal from is that resulting from emotions we don’t feel worthy enough to have. We argue that we haven’t hurt enough or that others have dealt with more. We criticize what we feel, call it something else, or deny it completely. We see a world with so much... Continue Reading →

A Simple Remedy

What if there was a remedy for shame? What if we were all capable of administering it? What if we all did? My sister shamed me today. Not directly. It was a share on Facebook, a passive-aggressive slap of her sister’s face: Marriage isn’t 50-50. Divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn’t... Continue Reading →

You Are Worthy

Shame is a parasite. A sickness that bores its way into you, bedding itself inside your core, presumably, perceivably dormant, but licking steadily at already sore, already raw pain. It eats away at kindness and love, those which you might give yourself, except for the growing illness coiling its way around your spirit like a... Continue Reading →

Courage

One of the greatest challenges I face in my struggle with shame is actually facing it. It comes on like an attack, sometimes slow and creeping and sometimes blindsiding me all at once. My response tends to follow the line of fight or flight, and more often than not, I choose flight—repressing it or numbing... Continue Reading →

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